NOTE to Mothers this Mothers Day

 Note for the Mothers this Mothers Day

In response to a few recent experiences and observations:

If a person is constantly rewarded for negative actions and behaviors is this likely to encourage them to continue doing the same thing. Is this likely to reinforce these behaviors and effectively tell them that its okay to continue doing these things?

For example in my recent experience there is someone who can be heard loudly banging and stomping on the ground exhibiting anti-social behaviours. It seems that there is no one who has been able to effectively make them stop these behaviors which are damaging to others. 

If this person is very demanding themselves but does not have any consideration for the needs or even demands of others. Is it a good idea to continue to give in to their demands? Especially where there are persons who they are disaffecting with their actions.  It would seem that the responses to their demands and attention they have been given, is actually reinforcing their abuse of other persons. To effectively allow them to continue to advocate that they are entitled to 'more important person' status even when their behaviors are negative and their actions are definitely not superior to their contemporaries. 

In my experience as a teacher, workshop leader and classroom assistant I have consistently seen where it is impertinent to establish and affirm strict boundaries. This is essential when working with groups of children where its necessary to establish boundaries for safeguarding. 

Oftentimes I would observe that parents, especially where there is only one child, or only two or few, do not reinforce the need for strict boundaries. This can often lead to this person or persons having issues with socialising and accepting boundaries later on in life. Their concept of themselves as well as life in general can often be found to be unrealistic. 

When in a classroom situation or group activity they may find the establishment of boundaries or rules to be offensive. When they receive constructive criticism or correction they are less likely to respond positively as they are not accustomed to this. Therefore they may have developed an unrealistic opinion of themselves that they cannot be wrong or do anything that could require improvement. This is not a very progressive state of mind; to be overly confident in one's own abilities, without an accurate understanding of our abilities. Or any clear understanding of how to comprehensively assess and address any opportunities to advance.

These opinions are not to be taken offensively I express them with concern after years of observations as a Creative Practitioner - with care for others and for our communities and the environment and the world as a responsible citizen 

- MsMAE aka 'Auntie Mae'

***Disclaimer these are my personal opinions and observations and are not at all aligned with any organisation or specific groups or societies.