Word to the mutha?!

 I don't know how many of you are real hip-hop fans who would remember in the early 90s when this expression was made popular! 'Word' was a word used universally to affirm that you heard a point that someone was making whether lyrically in a song or in conversation. 'Word to the Mutha!' was a phrase first heard in Hip-Hop songs around that era when Hip-Hop started to become mainstream.  That was a more accentuated version of this verbal affirmation. 

I'm reflecting on this phrase as I contemplate an issue that is of major concern to me personally. I think that society has given far too much power to 'mutha' - or to mothers. Not just our own Mother, whether birth Mother or Adopted/Foster Mother or the Woman who raised us and socialized us. In general far too often Mothers are not properly analyzed to see if they are even representing logic! Our Mothers demand and we are expected to give in to them in return for this selflessness that they have shown us by being or playing the role of Mother. 

However as we get older and become adults and grow in maturity over the years. Many of us are faced with the complexities of being our own person in opposition with the expectation of the Mother figure. This is especially difficult when persons have had conflicted issues with their own Mothers. And where they most often have been given less favour as a person, if their Mother is disapproving of them in any way or their decisions. Society continue to automatically favour the preferences of our Mothers without any proper actual analysis. This has allowed many Mothers to be able to support all kinds of ideas and behaviors that may not even be actually positive.

There is the issue of favoritism and Mothers having their favourites, often times stereotypes supported that 'society' will fully endorse.  For example, Mothers treating their Sons completely differently from their Daughters. And this is not only fully accepted but even encouraged by persons who have absolutely nothing to gain from perpetuating these 'isms'. Compounding and reinforcing issues of 'Sibling Rivalry' and just conflicts and contentions that generally have no benefit to anyone in reality. 

These issues with Mother and how much power is given to Mother can be made extreme. When it reaches a point of being actually damaging to a persons psyche and yet persons continue to exacerbate the issues. Where does is stop? When a Mother is actually causing harm to this persons life are they and should they be allowed to harm someone because they brought them into this world. Or because they have invested in them by actively educating them and training them. If we are not who our Mother's would like us to be are we supposed to support them being able to destroy who we have become?

This is an issue that is not rare and there are many people who seem to have completely contradictory ideas and most parents I find can be completely illogical when it comes to relating to their own offspring. The issues with Mother are of course made even harder to deal with when the other partner most often the Father figure is also supporting the abuse of the rights of their child or children. 

Another issue related to this are the relations that tend to jump on this bandwagon. Taking every opportunity to leverage their position within the family unit. Who most likely are Mothers (or Fathers) of their own children and who wish to exercise their seniority as 'elder' sister of your Father or Mother, entitled to the title of 'Auntie' or 'Uncle' or elder cousins. And the familiarity breeds contempt as they expect that as they can recall knowing you in your childhood that this somehow automatically allows them some right to make a critique of your progress, or lifestyle or even life choices!

In summary our parents do not own us and its not okay for persons to support the parents abusing their children in adulthood when they do not turn out to be who they would prefer. Often I find it hard to understand how it is that without any clear communication that parents can be so disapproving. I mean most often I do not find that they make it clear from the outset during school days that I would like you to do x or be such and that's it. They often fake, or pretend to support us in our endeavors early on, whilst secretly trying to manipulate every situation by using the mechanisms made for them to do so in society. So that we will in fact fall into the place that they have envisaged and somehow without saying a word they will get what they want from us. 

But when this does not happen there is absolutely nothing that can support the Mother or the parents thinking that they are entitled to reject or destroy their own creation. Is there any law anywhere that allows people to be destroyed and I mean terminated (outside of the first 10 weeks of pregnancy)?

All constructive comments are appreciated - email enquiries to: msmaecreative@gmail.com

***Disclaimer these are my personal opinions and observations and are not at all aligned with any organisation or specific groups or societies.