Feminine Health matters!

Today is Mother’s Day in the UK and I can't help but feel miserable when I consider that this is the second year since the loss of our Mother…

I have taken a long break from writing and from many other extra curricular and social activities.  To give myself the opportunity to process this loss and to deal with the grief. This has been a particularly painful process for me due to the circumstances. It's also the first experience that I have of dealing with a really difficult loss, so I don't have much experience of handling grief. Also as I consider this unknown territory I realise that we only ever have one Mother and therefore none of us will ever really know, or have any experience of dealing with how the loss of our Mother affects us. Until we actually have to deal with it ourselves.

This can be made even more complex by the complexities of the relationship with our Mother. As well as the relations with other members of the family. I'm certain that quite often there are some things that never really come to the surface, until we lose the Matriarch of the family. There are many other things that are ‘unearthed’ when we deal with death.  

Since returning to the UK there have been many other painful things that I have had to deal with. Relating specifically to issues of Femininity, “Women’s issues” and Gender in particular. There are some things that have obviously changed very much in recent years. Some of these changes are quite unnerving, jarring and on occasion even quite frightening. 

As it relates to Gender identity it is now completely integrated into the mainstream system that there are several Gender identities and classification is no longer limited to only Male or Female. There are even options to prefer not to say which gender or to be uncertain about which, if any gender a person identifies with. 

These personal choices and freedoms have become completely acceptable. In my opinion ‘each to their own’ and everyone is entitled to choose or to refuse to choose. However the issue that I have is where these freedoms and choices are actually disaffecting and debilitating the choices and rights of other persons. 

For example, one of the areas that I find this difficult to accept is where I have noticed that there are no longer clearly identified rules where it concerns the use of public bathroom facilities. So that would mean that If a person who would generally be identified as Male would like to enter a Female bathroom to use this facility. Because they identify as Female that this would be acceptable. Still if I as a Female would rather not share the bathroom with someone who appears to be Male then I don't have a choice in that. As I would have to accept that this person who maybe offending my own rights, is actually identifying as a Female. 

There are a whole list of reasons why I feel that these areas of concern have not been given the analysis that they really require in order to be fully integrated in this way. 

However one of my main areas of concern is that until this day the proper analysis and attention has not been given to many Feminine or Female health issues. And in particular research into health concerns that affect Women who are menstruating. For example with all of the workplace adjustments that have been considered. I am not aware of any research that has been specifically conducted into the workplace adjustments needed to consider women who have extreme PMS.  If women who have very painful, menstrual symptoms have not been considered as yet, when will they ever be considered. It would seem to me in my experience that we are expected to just take some painkillers or whatever is necessary and continue working with little or no complaints.

Meanwhile there are persons who have envisaged themselves to actually be female and who have been accepted. There are persons who have all manner of physical, mental and emotional health issues who have had adjustments made for them. There are all manner of disabilities that have been accommodated in the workplace. And yet there doesn’t seem to have been hardly any consideration given to the implications on a female staff member who bleeds heavily or has severe menstrual symptoms. 

I personally have suffered from terrible PMS regularly since I was in secondary school and mostly I have been encouraged to disregard my own health issues. There is definitely a clear effect on my productivity on those days of the month. And yet in more than thirty years I have not seen any improvements.  Only that I have somehow managed to get through those days and have learnt better coping techniques!  

One of my main concerns this Mother’s day is really how little other women seem to consider this or to care enough about advocating for the changes that we deserve!